I was conversing with someone recently about how people don’t look good when they wink. Like, people can’t wink without looking really awkward.
so I’ve been practicing.
that is all—gatsby party updates tomorrow I need to go to bed XD
the magnolia was a bit of a bastard
(as far as trees can be bastards)
and like very many other things—
like japanese candy from the Fugi Mart in Greenwich
(across from the McDonald’s and next to
the music shop where I got my viola)
and like pokemon cards and nintendo gaming systems
and like Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” on a pink CD in a Hello Kitty radio
—that bastard of a magnolia was a distinctive taste
of the years I spent growing up in my house at the end of Wyndover Lane.the goddamn thing was almost perpetually in bloom.
it barged into both spring and autumn
(it didn’t give a damn about timing)
those pink and white spongy petals padding the ground
and at first you think it’s fucking beautiful
sitting in the crook of the trunk where it split into
two large
separate branches
tilting your chin back to catch a glimpse of blue between fat blossomsthen the petals start rotting
water-retentive little fuckers
and you can’t sweep ‘em away because they stick to the patio
brown clumps slipping under rubber soles
my dad lets loose a string of curses
and the magnolia shakes with laughterI tried pressing the petals in a notebook once
while I was in that naturalist phase it seems all little girls go through
when you make fairy houses out of bark in the backyard
and put flowers between the pages of books because it feels
oh-so-much-more significant
than picking a pretty thing and showing it to mombut the magnolia seeped through my spiral ring
and when I opened it up a month later they were dry tan papery things
not at all velveteen and rosy
and there were garish pink bloodstains all through the ten pages
on either side
magnolias don’t preserve well
except, honestly they do don’t theythen of course there’s that childhood tragedy that everyone has
when your dog got hit by some soccer mom’s suburban
or your teddy bear was lost in an airport
or maybe you just liked to cry because some things
were just really worth the tears at the timebut when I came home and found out they cut down my fucking bastard of a magnolia
I bawled
there wasn’t
even
a
stump.
the magnolia was a bit of a bastard
(as far as trees can be bastards)
and like very many other things—
like japanese candy from the Fugi Mart in Greenwich
(across from the McDonald’s and next to
the music shop where I got my viola)
and like pokemon cards and nintendo gaming systems
and like Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” on a pink CD in a Hello Kitty radio
—that bastard of a magnolia was a distinctive taste
of the years I spent growing up in my house at the end of Wyndover Lane.the goddamn thing was almost perpetually in bloom.
it barged into both spring and autumn
(it didn’t give a damn about timing)
those pink and white spongy petals padding the ground
and at first you think it’s fucking beautiful
sitting in the crook of the trunk where it split into
two large
separate branches
tilting your chin back to catch a glimpse of blue between fat blossomsthen the petals start rotting
water-retentive little fuckers
and you can’t sweep ‘em away because they stick to the patio
brown clumps slipping under rubber soles
my dad lets loose a string of curses
and the magnolia shakes with laughterI tried pressing the petals in a notebook once
while I was in that naturalist phase it seems all little girls go through
when you make fairy houses out of bark in the backyard
and put flowers between the pages of books because it feels
oh-so-much-more significant
than picking a pretty thing and showing it to mombut the magnolia seeped through my spiral ring
and when I opened it up a month later they were dry tan papery things
not at all velveteen and rosy
and there were garish pink bloodstains all through the ten pages
on either side
magnolias don’t preserve well
except, honestly they do don’t theythen of course there’s that childhood tragedy that everyone has
when your dog got hit by some soccer mom’s suburban
or your teddy bear was lost in an airport
or maybe you just liked to cry because some things
were just really worth the tears at the timebut when I came home and found out they cut down my fucking bastard of a magnolia
I bawled
there wasn’t
even
a
stump.
And in a shocking turn of events I’m happy with how I look in a bathing suit